New Years Resolutions for an ex-pat in Paris
1. Meet other ex-pats (make friends, yay!)
I’m lucky to have made really close connections in Paris having adopted my boyfriend’s friends as my own. The thing is they are wonderful and I haven’t felt the need to reach out and meet that many other people because I feel as though I’ve got a great friend group and, as a bonus, they’re essentially 99% responsible for my having learned French. That said, there are certain references and jokes I just will never understand and worse, the hilarious references I drop often lead to silent stares and looks of confusion. Having cultural differences is great, but every now and then you want to spend some time with someone who understands where your weird quirks come from and won’t judge you for wanting to spend an evening watching Clueless followed by Speed followed by Legally Blonde whilst drinking red wine and chowing down on Cheetos (à la puffy, obviously).
So for those, like me who want to meet more ex-pats let’s get on it. Meetup.com is sometimes okay; Lately I’ve found that ex-pat groups on facebook offer lots of fun and interesting events (not that I’ve yet to go to one). So far I use them primarily to bog everyone down with questions about bureaucracy.
Groups on facebook I follow:
- Ex-pats living in Paris
This is my go-to for bureaucracy related questions/general survival guide to living in Paris. Nine times out of ten you can search the group and someone will have asked the question you’ve got on your mind. It may junk up your newsfeed a bit, but you can unfollow and check in periodically if you wish. - Social women (30+) in Paris (I guess the “social” pre-req was a little lost on me…)
I turned 30 last March and let me tell you, most groups are catered to student ex-pats. I was at one point a student ex-pat so that was great, but now I love the idea of finding other women in and around my own age. - Creatives in Paris (offering lots of events, job postings, and answers to your creative realm questions)
I love this group. As a graphic designer and illustrator I love even just reading what questions other people have from other creative disciplines. It’s a great place to go if you need to find say, the best place for letterpressing or photography studios etc. - Offres d’emplois et offres de stages—graphisme (okay not ex-pat related but you can find French groups that suit your fancy and interests as well)
Crazy Frenchies celebrating my birthday last year <3
2. Learn French (duh)
You may as well hop ahead in your journal and stick this on every New Year’s resolution list you will ever make up until you die because, hurray, you will never stop learning French.
I’ve come along way (pat on back) but my French is very, very far from perfect. My written French is a disaster, I still have no idea what is masculine or feminine so most of the time I just guess, and my pronunciation is oft ridiculed. It took me five years to learn how to say the word “fourrure”. Good luck with that one.
For me, this resolution will involve actually putting some of my own time into learning grammar/vocabulary. Duolingo is ideal for me, but many of you may be more interested in taking French classes. There are also countless language exchanges in Paris, a great way to make new friends (yay, resolution 1) and also work on your French.
3. Stay in touch (hi mom)
People are always saying that relationships need care, attention, work, yadda yadda. This is especially true when you move away from your loved ones. It’s only too easy to let relationships slip.
We all know living abroad can be lonely; it’s important to maintain ties with people you care about to inject some love into your week when you may be feeling down. It’s equally important to remember your friends and family rely on you as well and falling out of touch is just plain unacceptable! Call your mama, tell her you love her.
4. Write that shit down
Living abroad is new and exciting and deserves proper documentation! I’m guilty AF for not keeping up with my journal but I’m pretty sure that you don’t arrive at resolutions without excessive guilt and internal nagging.
Journal, diary, notebook, scrapbook, sketchbook…whatever floats your boat! You may not love writing, but a few sentences here and there will keep your memories sharp down the road and you will thank yourself later. I still have journals that date back to grade three and they paint a detailed picture of my life at the time as a wee little bub.
Sketching is an even stronger memory device. You’re forced to take in all the details of something and transfer them to a blank page. Scary? Nah, it doesn’t have to be a masterpiece; as long as you are focused, you are essentially engraving the image into your memory. I highly recommend sketching as a journaling substitute (or addition).
5. Less Netflix, more engagement
Listen, balance is everything. I’m a series-obsessed, movie loving addict and that will never change. I’m not ashamed of my deep-seated love and emotional attachment to all things film. Still, it’s important to know the difference between cuddling up with a new show on a weeknight and having Netflix as a tiny little box in the corner of your screen while you work (GUILTY).
Something’s gotta give! This is Paris, and by all accounts (or, well, mine at least) it is the most beautiful city in the world. Stimulation is everywhere! Break up your day by taking a walk around the neighbourhood, or even just grab a coffee on your corner but no digital crutches allowed. Take a night off from Netflix and pick up a book or, god forbid, try reading one in French (see resolution 2!). I’m not telling you to cut The Good Place out of your life, just replace some of your screen-time with something new and ideally somewhat France related.
This is a hard one for me, so I’ll have to keep you posted on my progress. Take a walk around the neighbourhood? Ugh, do I have to?
6. Take advantage of your surroundings
This is sort of an all-encompassing category. I speak not only of what Paris has to offer but Europe as well, but let’s start with the local.
As an artist/designer, Paris is sort of an incredible city to be living in. Each time I get out to an exhibition I am filled to the brim with inspiration and all I want to do is go home and get my paint out. However, this is not something I do quite as regularly as I’d like (neither the museum, nor the getting of the paint out).
Art exhibits, opera, theatre, french cinema, stand up comedy…there are so many events going on around us. Time to move your butt and soak up some culture. When I moved back to Canada from Paris the first time around, I realized how lucky I had been to see so many beautifully curated expos. It can be easy to forget how advantageous it is to live in Paris, so get in there while you can. You may not live here forever.
In the same vein, take advantage of traveling in France and to other European countries, especially if you’re North American. It’s insane how easy it can be. London, for example, is just a two hour train ride away!
7. Stop making negative comparisons
Your country is great, you love it, you’re from it, you miss it, you’re one biased mofo. Stop, for the love of god, drawing negative comparisons between your life back home and your new life in France. By this I do not mean stop noticing the differences; appreciating these differences is a key part of growing as an individual. However, getting hung up on what you miss and what feels lacking can be extremely detrimental to your experience abroad and you’ll miss the whole point of your stay.
My mom’s motto has always been “everybody’s different” and honestly, I think it’s the best motto you could have, especially as an ex-pat.
If there is one thing I’ve learned during my time in France it is that navigating cultural differences can be exhausting but extremely rewarding. Humour is different, friendship, love, emotional expression, workplace dynamics…and expecting others to react or act as you would expect them to back home is not realistic. We’re all human, we all feel, it’s just the means of expression that differs.
This is the truly great part of being an ex-pat and also the absolute most challenging.
Sure I miss peanut butter (that doesn’t cost $$$$$), but instead I get crunchy delicious salted butter that I never even knew existed.
8. Exercise
Okay I’m adding it, I said it…it’s on your list too. Yoga, running, whatever. Be more active, ’nuff said.
Happy New Year, fellow ex-pats
Surely I missed something…feel free to add your own resolutions in the comments. Good luck to you in following through on all your own resolutions this year. Power to ya and see you out there during my break-up-the-day walk…
